Eff Parenting: The Household Staff

Managing a household with growing children can be a challenge.  My girls are expected to help out around the house and I refuse to do things for them that they can do for themselves.  They don’t always appreciate the expectation. 

So, when my children ask me to do things for them that they can clearly do for themselves, I've taken to telling them, "I'll notify the household staff".  I then pretend to call someone on an ear piece, conduct a sometimes lengthy imaginary conversation, and then relay to my children with feigned disappointment that I've been told, coincidentally, we don't actually HAVE household staff.

My younger one, Cate loves this game.  Full of hope and naiveté that such a staff is on standby somewhere she waits patiently and listens. My older one, Taylor immediately rolls her eyes and walks away. I'll sometimes write it down for her and then stop by her room with it, and tell her someone has left her an urgent message. She dislikes that a great deal.  I use lots of smiley faces and stars in the note.

I’m making my children more self-reliant… one sarcastic conversation at a time. 

Eff Parenting: Fashion Forward

The challenges of parenting in this day and age are oftentimes overwhelming.  I’m introducing a new segment to “Eff” that bears this in mind.  It’s going to be called Eff Parenting.  As a single mother, I am constantly balancing the act and I have chosen, I believe wisely, what behaviors to correct and what tendencies to encourage.  Cultivating a unique fashion sense is something that has free reign in my house.  To that end… meet my Cate. 

When my daughter Cate was born, it was after being in active labor for seven days. Yes, seven days.  My pregnancy with Cate was one for the ages.  I had hyperemesis gravidarum which is fancy talk for extreme morning sickness, except that it’s not just in the morning.  It’s constant and debilitating.  I was treated several times for dehydration and would routinely use my desk trash can when it would hit suddenly.  Additionally, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and spent the greater part of that nine months eating and then throwing up really, really bland food.