Adult Women’s Rules to Dating: Volume II

I am limiting this post to two things.  Because they are two big ones. This isn’t gender biased.  It goes both ways.  I’ve had no coffee yet today and so I’ll be brief and quite irritable about it.

7. As an adult man/woman, I will not tolerate cheating.  If he/she cheats.  They’re a cheater.  And you’re not special if they cheat WITH you.  (And if you contribute to the cheating knowingly, you pretty much suck too.)  Because if they cheat with you, they could just as easily cheat against you.  Cheating is telling.  It’s telling you to walk away.  Or run, fast.  Bitch slapping first is acceptable.  (Or throwing a drink in their face.  I’ve always wanted to do that.)

8.  As an adult man/woman I will not tolerate lying. If he/she lies.  They are a liar.  There is a difference between telling you you look cute in your footie jammies when clearly that’s dumb and where he spent his Friday night when he doesn’t get home until 3 AM when it was supposed to be 11, well… you know the distinction.  Don’t be fooled, or worse, don’t fool yourself and make it okay.  And if you ARE wearing footy jammies.  It’s dumb.  Take them off.

Bottom line: Liars and cheaters aren’t worth your time, energy, or attention.  

Consumer Watch: The Brands of Boyfriend

When it comes to boyfriends or potential boyfriends there are “types” and I have certainly had my fair share of them.  I have zero qualifications on giving advice on love or anything that resembles love and/or relationships.  My degree is in business and global economy and my qualifications are roughly 17 years of failed relationships.  So, keep reading if you dare. 

Now, I’m not talking about “types” that are relegated to physical categorization like "the muscle head” or the “the academic”.  Those designations are based more on physicality and interests, although for the sake of transparency, any man who has jewels on the ass pockets of his jeans is not welcome in my universe.  No, I’m talking about the brand that comes with how they stack up as a potential partner and how that evolves over time.

There are three buckets of types I subscribe to, mostly because I like simplicity and in my experience of dating for the last 17 years or so, I’ve learned to recognize the differences and how I’ve effectively been doggy paddling in the dating cesspool of life. 

I give you my three Boyfriend Brand Buckets: The Bargain, the Faux Beau, and the Real Deal.

The ironic twist!  Of course there is a ironic twist.  Any one man can be any of these brands, it depends on a variety of factors, their level of interest, their maturity level, their goals, their geography, their options, their emotional state, etc.  There are about a million more variables and factors, but you get my drift.  So, while some men suck inherently, I don’t think that’s why all relationships fail.  In my experience, most of us hang out in between Bargain and Faux for years until (or if) we find the Real Deal. 

My “Type” and Everybody Else

As has become a theme in my life, the people around me are trying to find ways to partner me up and marry me off.  Apparently, It’s a sad state of affairs for me to be single and 30 with two growing children.  Despite my full time job, my awesome friends, fun sports and events, and busy lifestyle; to my friends and family, my being single MUST make me miserable.  It’s at least once or twice a week I hear, “I have this guy friend from my gym you just have to meet!” or “This guy from my work would be perfect for you.” or, “My brother is getting a divorce, I should totally introduce you two!”

Things That Couldn’t Possibly Be More True

My life coaches never cease to amaze me with their insights into life.  Perspective.  It’s yours.  Take it.

Caption: Things that are absolutely NOT okay: tampon popsicles.  - Maurya Scanlon

Caption: Because apparently, sometimes all you need is $.36 worth of gas. – Kim Payne

Caption: Well Said.  - Travis Harris