I’ve been away. I’m sorry my blogging was non-existent. My computer is spazzy… I wrote about it last week in my love letter to Best Buy.
So, it’s my fault. I get it. I spilled water all over my phone AND my computer as I was calling someone for an interview for my grown up job blog. It was a cool story too, this amazing police officer from Jersey was shot like nine times and survived! Bananas. Anyways, my speaker was trashed, I sounded like I was under water and no one could understand or hear me when I was on the phone. I panicked. Full-blown, crazy eyes, ‘WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW’ mode where I wanted to immediately call my dad. But this wasn’t time for DEFCON 5. I had to pull it together.
Showing posts with label DEFCON FIVE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DEFCON FIVE. Show all posts
Monday, August 1, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Carpentry Issues; Revisited. DEFCON FIVE.
So, those of you who read my past blog about the epic night of house alarm bedlam, recall that my problem solving approach is a progression of five steps.
My usual solution to problems is the following five-step progression:
1. If it's broken or not working, throw it away.
2. If you can't throw it away, put it under a pile of something else so you can pretend it's not there for a while.
3. If you can't put it under a pile of something else, use duct tape to fix it or patch it back together.
4. If you can't use duct tape then throw it at something or kick it swiftly.
5. If it's too big or too expensive to throw or kick, call dad.
The door that is growing ever closer to being officially bound for the wood chipper I’m still eyeing on Craig’s List, pushed me all the way to DEFCON Five. Call Dad.
My dad is hands down the coolest man I know. For a bajillion reasons most of which involve him putting up with me like. When I told him about this blog and the proliferation of eff bombs and inappropriate humor his first question was, “So….anyone can read this?” Indeed. In terms of DEFCON response times, he’s legendary for saving the day and I am thinking of having a cape made for him for that reason.
My usual solution to problems is the following five-step progression:1. If it's broken or not working, throw it away.
2. If you can't throw it away, put it under a pile of something else so you can pretend it's not there for a while.
3. If you can't put it under a pile of something else, use duct tape to fix it or patch it back together.
4. If you can't use duct tape then throw it at something or kick it swiftly.
5. If it's too big or too expensive to throw or kick, call dad.
The door that is growing ever closer to being officially bound for the wood chipper I’m still eyeing on Craig’s List, pushed me all the way to DEFCON Five. Call Dad.
My dad is hands down the coolest man I know. For a bajillion reasons most of which involve him putting up with me like. When I told him about this blog and the proliferation of eff bombs and inappropriate humor his first question was, “So….anyone can read this?” Indeed. In terms of DEFCON response times, he’s legendary for saving the day and I am thinking of having a cape made for him for that reason.
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