Monday, July 18, 2011

Why 36 Proof Margaritas are an Awesome Idea on a Sunday Night

283977_10150232188871551_502466550_7838317_30051_nWhen Kim (a member of the Dream Team) texted me and asked if I wanted a fruity drink last night (and she was buying them) I graciously accepted her offer and when she arrived with margaritas called “Stinky Gringo” and bottles of “Kinky” liqueur, I knew that it was going to be a good night.  Only Kim Payne could go to Hy-Vee to get Jose Cuervo and end up with Kinky liqueur and Stinky Gringos.  I adore that.

The day had been a brutal one.  The U.S. Women lost a heart-breaker to Japan, it was probably about 1000 degrees outside and I had not only mowed but ran two miles in the sweltering heat.  In response, I spent about 45 minutes laying directly on my air conditioning vent like a dog in my sports bra and shorts pouring water over my head and having my four year old walk on my back to get the knots out. 

I have known Kim since we were fifteen and we not only went to high school together but we also worked together at the local grocery store and have been making each other laugh ever since.   She’s my best friend and even though she's a Phillies and Texas fan, I love her to pieces. 

Kim is also one of the funniest people I know. For example, this was her FB post from two hours ago, “After searching for 20 minutes, I finally found Niki hiding in the supply closet....with mini-handcuffs :)” These are normal FB posts and I am forever entertained. 

Kim and I had gone shopping earlier in the day.  When I stepped in her car I was greeted by the site of four, yes FOUR 284853_2182328845344_1460645644_2521707_4421965_npairs of high heels in the passenger seat, “You know it’s a good weekend when you have four pairs of heels in your car.  At least they all made it home and I didn’t leave them at the bar.” She explained.
I digress… back to margaritas. We set up at the bar (breakfast) in my kitchen and turned on music.  Men’s Health had an article recently that posed the following question, “So what power does alcohol hold — besides making you awesome at karaoke?" 

To that end, Kim and I are singers.  And by “singers” I mean that words come out of our mouths with music in the background.  If we were birds, we’d probably be ostriches, and people may or may not be hearing impaired after bearing witness to one of our performances.  But God bless us, it does not deter our enthusiasm.  We talked, sang, there may have been some dancing (Kim has video of me doing the running man to a slow country song) and a lot of laughing.  We posted on each other’s FB walls while sitting next to each other and giggling.  In short, we are incredibly uncool.  I would actually go so far as to use the term “dorks” in this case.

268246_2183174346481_1460645644_2523274_6872071_nWhen I drink, I tend to make proclamations, one of which was the intention to start this blog.  I think I made another one about the perfect man for me being a physical manifestation of the song, “Shameless” by Garth Brooks. On reflection, that’s actually not too far off.  When “Total Eclipse of the Heart” came on, my dramatic and heartfelt interpretive dance was a sign that it was about time to call it a night. 

At one point in the evening, I believe my exact words were, “I’m not feeling the alcohol at all.” *Hint* “Not feeling the alcohol at all” is generally something uttered by a person who in a very short period of time will be asleep (passed out) on their couch in the clothes they are wearing. 

Update: My couch is actually quite comfortable to sleep on.  Just sayin…


  1. You probably don't give a shit, but Billy Joel wrote Shameless. I'm just sayin'...


  2. Bahaha! Indeed. The Garth Brooks version was playing when the proclamation was made. Hence, the reference. Thanks for keeping me honest, Chris.