I have no idea how this is my life sometimes. These messages are real. I didn't write them, I just get to be the lucky recipient.
"True fact! Proportional to their weight, men are stronger than horses. I...am stronger than really strong horses"
"True fact! Astronauts in space can not cry due to no gravity. They CAN NOT CRY! Just call me space man."
"We'll just circle jerk our way through it."
"True fact! YOU will eat nearly 35,000 cookies in your lifetime."
"With all the salad you eat, I'm sure you poop a lot."
"I could have meaningfulness sex with a stranger tonight but I don't feel skinny."
"If I workout but then immediately after eat jerky dipped in cheese sauce does that mean I am ahead, behind, or staying the same."
"Can you text me your number." (this was text to me... on my phone)
"Heading to Happy Hour, want to come?" (this was sent to me at 1:30 PM)
NOT a text message but my four-year-old told me as I opened a snack for her, "Mom, if I eat two Go-Gurts I'll probably poop my pants."
This is a normal Friday.