Saturday, January 7, 2012

Stranger Danger: Tweets from the Dark Side

stranger-dangerI received a Tweet today from @eleasebreal that said simply, “@CarrieRADams, Heya its me, I forgot to share with you this..” and then a link to a website entitled:  My immediate reply was, “Is it an assumption that I need to get laid now?” I also got a Tweet at roughly the same time indicating I had won a FREE grocery card.  Clearly, I should have bought a lottery ticket today.

I mean, I wasn’t going to confirm or deny the necessity of getting laid immediately, and I recognize that it’s merely twitter guerilla spamming, but I couldn’t help but feel that somehow her random searching of the Twitter interwebs, and of all the people to spam, I was one of the first. I think I was the seventh actually. I’m either emitting some kind of beacon, like a a pathetic bat signal of alone-ness or I am just an unwitting recipient of LOTS of spam regarding my love life (or lack thereof.)

twitte_tosThe tweet interaction was reminiscent of my run in with the unnamed dating site (I’ll expose them one of these posts) that sent me an UNSOLICITED email that subsequently became a spam relationship that I cherished deeply.  I’d wait by the computer constantly refreshing my Outlook account waiting for a reply.  In a nutshell, we fought, we made up, they accused me of not understanding their terms and conditions, I accused them of not listening, and then we ultimately broke up in a horrifying turn of unmet expectations and complaints to the BBB. 

Granted, I provide a great deal of ammunition to my digital creepsters.  For example, I write this on a Saturday night, still having not showered since being at the gym earlier today and no plans tonight but fistfuls of caramel popcorn, a Law and Order: SVU marathon, and a bottle of Pinot before going to sleep shortly after 10PM.  Sadder still, it took some serious planning and I’m actually pretty excited about it.  Last night it was Merlot, work, and acoustic folk music that kept me company until around 11PM before I fell asleep to the History Channel.  I know you’re jealous. 

So, as I maneuver the modern dating waters, I’m glad to see that there are so many strangers out there willing to assist me on my journey.  Want to join in the fun?  You can always call me out publicly on twitter.  My handle is @carrieRADams.   Maybe it’s a sign of things to come in 2012… From unsolicited direct emails promising my dream man to creepy tweets about fulfilling immediate sexual needs I’m feeling pretty hopeful… I might even toast my first glass of Pinot tonight to the possibilities. 

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