Eff It: Talk to Me

My daughter speaks English and pre-teen girl.  Pree teen girls consists of words, shortened versions of words (see: totes for totally), abbreviations (see: OMG), numbers (see: LUVU2), emoticons (see: :-P) and pictures of her making duckface. And duck face, I hate the duckface.  Stop with the duckface!  It's almost as bad as twerking! (I swear that is the only time I will reference anything related to Miley Cyrus.  Ever.)  So, I spend half my life trying to decipher what the hell she is trying to tell me in our phone conversations and while I use many of those standards and am a textaolic by admission, when my daughter texts me from upstairs in our home, "OMG mom, I'm starrrrrrving.  Bring me a snack?  Totes LUV U!"  I'm drawing some lines in the proverbial sand.

We're creating a generation of kids who can't manage interpersonal relationships.  There is a decided lack of communication skills.  Be it texting, IM’ing, Gchat, and email, the trending towards non-verbal communication is troubling to me.  There is a lack of familiarity, there is a lack of intimacy, and there is a high risk of mixed or crossed messages.  Consisting of shortened sentences, acronyms, and abbreviations sent a charming 160 characters at a time they are 1/10th of a real conversation.  I'm just as guilty!  #Icanholdentireconversationsentirelyinhashtag

But I'm increasingly becoming a mom that is over the texting age as the primary method of communication in relationships of any kind - especially with my kids.  I like to talk to people in person and on the phone.  I’m the girl that picks up the phone instead of sending another email when I need something at work.  I’m the girl who calls people I care about and like spending time with so that I can hear them TELL me how they are doing.  They aren't long calls, mind you, and I don’t like talking on the phone for hours, I’m a busy girl, but there is something missing in how communication has DE-volved.  Texting, while convenient can also be so incredibly impersonal and so incredibly LAZY.  I've been guilty as charged myself, but we're facing a brand new day in my house.

Tween House Texting Rules:
1. If what you want to say is more than seven words, come talk to me or call me.  Don't text me.
2. If we are in the same building (see: our house) come talk to me.  Don't text me.
3. If what you have to say is important, come talk to me or call me.  Don't text me.
4. If we're talking, you're not texting anyone else.  Be present in our conversation.  Texting can wait.
5. English may not be the language of love, but it's a language.  Honor it.  Use punctuation, capitalization, and abbreviations are okay so long as I can decipher what you are saying easily.
6. No texting after bedtime.
7. If you make duckface, I'm breaking your phone.