No one should ask me for love advice... but people do. I don't know why, but I reply and oftentimes I actually sound like I know what I'm talking about. While I have absolutely no experience nor do I have any degree of any kind in this arena, I'm not bad in a pinch or on a budget. I should be studied actually. My ability to help others while simultaneously doing dumb things in my own life is probably some kind of new science we haven't discovered.
So, here is a random sampling of what I've received and my blanket response to the question about the relationship status of, "Ehhhh, I dunno..."
My on-again off-again ex is currently in on-again mode. Things go great until they fall apart. He has said he wants to move in but then we get in a fight and I don’t hear from him for days. I don’t know how to make it work. When it’s good, it’s really good. When it’s bad, it’s really bad. What the eff am I doing?
I’m single, in my mid thirties with no kids. I would LOVE to get married and have babies and the guys I’m dating just aren’t quite there, but I make excuses and stay in them too long knowing it will probably fall apart. The guy I’m dating now is okay, but I just get weird vibes. Something is off. Do I stay? What do I do to break this cycle?
I’m pretty sure I’m with Mr. Wrong, but is there a Mr. Right? Not sure the grass is greener…
When I was in college I dated this guy who was REALLY cute but not very bright. And I made excuses for a few weeks that it was okay that he wasn’t very bright because the hot quotient filled the gaps. But every time we’d go out and he’s go on moronically about how his literature teacher was so lame for making them read so much, or how he didn't understand why so many credit hours were required for graduation I’d die a little inside. He spoke bro, wore knit caps when it was hot out, and refused to tie his shoelaces. I'm thinking now that he probably didn't know HOW... my point is, I was settling. When all you have in common is smoothie flavors you don't tend to make it last.
As an adult in the dating world we’re met with a lot of the same bullshit and we know better but we don't do anything about it. We’re lonely, we’re bored, we want babies, we’re tired of the game, we are too lazy to leave, or our biological clock is ticking so loudly we can’t hear anything else. It's okay to admit that it isn't what you want anymore or maybe it wasn't even what you wanted in the first place.
Don’t be angry when your frogs hop offs your lily pad… be grateful. Cut your losses and move forward. You probably learned something, right? Maybe my college boy wonder learned how to tie his shoes! You can't waste your time wondering what could have been either, your frog might be another woman's prince charming - sometimes that is how the actual fairy tale ends. He doesn't have to be an asshole to be wrong for you. A relationship not working doesn't mean one of you has to be a villain.
The bottom line is that you’re going to be wrong. A lot. That’s the deal. In fact, you’re wrong 100% of the time, until you’re right. And that means you could wind up kissing a lot frogs first.