In the tradition of random emails finding their way into my Inbox, imagine my surprise when I received the following email today:
Truck Driving Career Expo
Do you want to find out more about the Truck Driving Profession? Here is the opportunity to attend a free career information program to explore an industry with many High Paying Jobs available NOW!
When: Monday, January 23, 2012
Where: Metro Community College- South
Campus- ITC Building- Conference Ctr.
What: 6pm Trucking Career Panel Discussion
7pm-9pm Visit with Various Trucking
Firms, Training Schools, Financial
Support agencies, & NE Trucking Assoc.
Program provided by Nebraska Dept. of Labor & the Nebraska Trucking Association
For further information; contact Deb Christensen-402-XXX-XXXX or Phil Sanders 402-XXX-XXXX at Nebraska Dept. of Labor. Please call to register if attending.
This is an automated email notification. Please do not respond.
Naturally, I found a working email and submitted the following reply.
Dear automated notification,
Thank you for thinking of me! I have NO idea how you got my email. Honestly. Please tell me.
On the positive side, like any enterprising young person, I’m always looking for creative ways to supplement my income. You should be well aware that this might actually be right up my alley. I’ve been telling my friends for years I should have been a stunt car driver and often drive like one as I am perpetually running late. As you can well imagine, since you emailed ME, my qualifications for this job are vast. I watch Ice Road Truckers religiously and can quote all the Smokey and the Bandit movies. While I can’t drive a stick, I am quite adept at driving with my knees. It’s no semi, but my Ford Focus is referred to as “The Thunderdome” and has run into my (and other) garage doors several times without sustaining much damage. (I’ve historically had trouble with putting the car in DRIVE when I needed to be in REVERSE and vice versa.)
I suspect my biggest challenge will be finding a CB radio handle to my liking. What do you think of “Angry White Woman”, “Mad Maxine” or “Baconater?” I often go long hauls at home without showering and think I can easily translate that to the road. I’ve been working on my slang and can identify a Blue Light Special and a Draggin Wagon at 30 paces.
Regardless, I look forward to this new opportunity. That's a big 10-4. See you on the road.