Friday, February 10, 2012

Eff Conventionalism: A to B is Lame

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A friend sent me this picture last night.  When I read the bottom part the first time, I totally heard Morgan Freeman's voice saying it like, "What. (pause) The Hell.  (pause) Is Happening”.  (Like, without a question mark at the end.  A period.  And calm, because he’s Morgan Freeman and it just sounds so bad ass how he says it.)

Then I thought of OTHER celebrity voices saying the same line.  Alec Baldwin’s silky, snobby voice saying it all condescending, “What the HELLLL is happening”?  then adjusting his cuff links with elegant annoyance. 

Vincent Price’s version was pretty awesome in my head too.  More sinister and with his evil laugh at the end.  Liam Neeson’s accent made it kinda cool, but he was more angry about it when he said it, like how he was in the movie Taken, and his voice rose with each word like, “WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING!”  And I pictured him on his knees and looking at they sky shaking his fists at God.

Peter Griffin from Family Guy was pretty rad too.  I did all the characters of Family Guy actually.  My daughter was sitting next to me when I did that.  She kept asking me, “What are you laughing at”?  When I would giggle to myself. 

Michael Jackson said it all scared and hurried like, “whatthehellishappening” and then did a spin and grabbed his crotch.  There was the guy from the All State Commercials, whose name I don’t know… (at this point I then tried to name all the shows/movies he’s been in and yet I’ve never known his actual name.)

So, these incoherent ramblings have nothing to do with the actual picture’s content which I think was her point in sending it, but I know she’ll appreciate that I spent 30 minutes doing bad celebrity impersonations of the same line in my head for entertainment purposes.  That could be why I’m not in the A -----> B category. 

In unrelated news, I’m easily distracted. 

Happy Friday.  (Said in the voice of Morgan Freeman.)


  1. I thank you, from the bottom of my strange little heart, for granting me the opportunity to lay in bed on a lazy Saturday morning, with eyes closed and various celebrity voices bouncing around my brain....Willem Dafoe, Samuel L. Jackson, Marsellus Wallace <----I seem to have gone on a bit of a Pulp Fiction roll...and then I made the obvious shift and launched into the Muppets with Kermit and Fozzie....
    Wocka Wocka

    1. Cartoon voices have dominated me today. Completely.