Why Hallmark Should Never Let Me Write Their Greeting Cards

So, my dad sends me this email that says, "You are creative.  Win the 5 grand?"  With an attachment to a Hallmark "Everyday special Occasion contest". 


Basically, the contest has you "fill in the blank" for the statement below:
____________ is my everyday special occasion.  


Never one to have too many touching moments front of mind I went with something far more comparable to what happens at my house and what I imagine is far more prevalent in the every day special occasion playbook of most of the moms and families I know. I know, you can't even imagine what I would come up with here...