As reported earlier this week, I’m in a relationship. I hesitate using the word “boyfriend” because I’m 30, and NOT 12 and “manfriend” isn’t a socially accepted phrase (as I type, Microsoft has red squiggle underline for “manfriend” because it doesn’t recognize it as an actual word), and all other labels are awkward. So, he’s just….uh… my guy. Regardless, that isn’t the subject of my post today. I have unfinished business to tend to.
In light of my change in relationship status, I wrote the unnamed dating service that contacted me a while back directly (and unsolicited) about my lack of a love life promising me a “dream man”. I gave them a full description of said “dream man” and they emailed me to notify me that I misunderstood their offer. So, we (the dating service and I) got into our first fight. We haven’t spoken since, but I assume they would want to hear from me again since they first contacted me to try to find me my dream man. So, in an effort to break the cycle of miscommunication, I sent them the following email.
Dear Dating Service Not to be Named,
*Sigh*. I didn’t think I’d ever have to write a letter like this. I’ve written and re-written the first paragraph a thousand times. I think I just have to come out and say it… I’m seeing someone and that someone isn’t you (or anyone you hand picked for me based on your patented matching program). So, clearly, what we had going is just not going to happen. I have to say goodbye.
I’m disappointed it didn’t work out between us. At first, it seemed like things couldn’t be better. You wanted to find me my dream man, I wanted a Ryan Reynolds look alike with no ear piercings, washboard abs, and a sense of humor. It was like magic. But after our first fight, things weren’t the same and I found myself questioning everything about you. The bottom line is, I can’t trust you and if I can’t trust you how can you possibly help me in my “quest for true love” as you promised?
So, as I lie here in my dark bedroom listening to Celine Dion songs and drinking red wine I just can’t help but wonder where it all went wrong… I’ll move on, as much as it hurts. I hope you do too. There are plenty of fish in the sea. If we do cross paths again, I’ll be able to smile and think back on all the good times we shared and know that I'm better for it. I just hope we can both just heal…
PS – If I eff this up with the hot guy with the abs, I’ll be emailing you…