Before anyone freaks out, there are a few things I need to clarify up front:
1. No, the nameless dating service did NOT find me this man. They are still ignoring my last email.
2. No, I am not drunk now nor was I drunk when the boyfriending took place.
3. Yes, I may have had a couple glasses of wine when I initially hit on him. I think the term I used was, “I want to be on you.”
4. No, I won’t be telling you his real name in an effort to protect the innocent heretofore we’ll know him as “Lover Boy,” as that’s what my mother refers to him as to me.
5. No, I won’t be advertising the fact that he’s younger than me (I’m officially a Puma).
6. No, I won’t be bragging about the fact that he has the abs that I outlined in my dream man scenario either, is super hot and thinks I’m funny. Those things just aren’t relevant for blogging purposes.
I am sure there will be plenty of embarrassing stories (mine, not Lover Boy’s – he doesn’t exhibit the qualities one requires to have the same volume of embarrassing stories I do.)