2011 was a year I’m going to happily put behind me. Amongst several other notable things this year I also turned 30 and that’s been lame but I’m hopeful that 2012 will be a year of extraordinary self-exploration and growth. Ha! Probably not likely.
Resolutions are how we plan for the upcoming year but in order to successfully create resolutions, we must reflect on the year behind us. To me, resolutions need to be specific and brief and you need a plan of action that you can successfully maintain. If resolutions are too lofty or not articulated and developed you have a high failure rate. Here are my resolutions and more importantly my reasons.
1. I resolve to help the global economy. By drinking. Beer.
While studying global economics during my second year of my MBA, My professor, Dr. William Corcoran told our class that beer was “income inelastic”. Meaning, it didn’t matter how income fluctuates downward, beer consumption does not follow the trend. People like beer! Even poor people like me! This was reiterated in an article I read in the Washington Post. With smoking and gambling on the decline, beer seems to be the only thing we have left. Do your part. Drink more beer. I know I will. I refuse to buck statistics.
2. I resolve to write more about sex this year.
In order to DO this effectively I must actually HAVE more sex. Don’t get excited and/or horrified by this one. You won’t get pornographic play-by-plays but you will get the occasional, “Yeah, I totally got some” comments randomly dropped into unrelated posts. I’ll also make references to “notches in my belt and/or bedpost” from time to time and at my discretion. *Gives self high five.*
3. I resolve to provide more dating advice to help single men/women out there.
To provide the most qualitative insights, I’ll have to commit myself to continue doing all the wrong things so I can shed light on what is right. I pretty much have this one down. No worries here.
4. I resolve to be be a better date (for the men who will ultimately not be my life partners.)
Dating became a seeming death march in 2011 and my exuberance and enthusiasm waned considerably as the year progressed. So, admittedly, I may have gotten lazy on this front in 2011. Effective immediately, I will no longer wear sweatpants or neglect basic hygiene for dates one – three. That’s all I can commit to at this point. And, it’s fair, having a date three is as elusive as catching quicksilver.
5. I resolve to STILL not give a shit.
When I dropped my first post on this site, aptly entitled “I Don’t Give a Shit” it began. For the eleven readers who continue to support my ramblings and lamentations, I will write. (One of those eleven is my mom, who hates that I swear and talk about vaginas on the interwebs.) I have a lot to say, and while most of it is crap… I’ll write it anyway.