Reflections on 2011: Part One of One

2011 was a year I’m going to happily put behind me.  Amongst several other notable things this year I also turned 30 and that’s been lame but I’m hopeful that 2012 will be a year of extraordinary self-exploration and growth.  Ha!  Probably not likely. 

Resolutions are how we plan for the upcoming year but in order to successfully create resolutions, we must reflect on the year behind us.  To me, resolutions need to be specific and brief and you need a plan of action that you can successfully maintain.  If resolutions are too lofty or not articulated and developed you have a high failure rate.  Here are my resolutions and more importantly my reasons. 

Thanksgiving… What do I Give a Shit About?

Everyone is posting these "I'm grateful for" posts and they are so nice and sweet... but I want to see someone bust out with something like, "I'm grateful for bondage tape, edible underwear, and riding crops, without which, my relationship would be far less interesting. Thank you Adult Entertainment Industry." I haven't seen one like that yet and doubt that I will. So, I decided to write one of my own.  There are thirteen of them.

1. I'm grateful for sarcasm, without which I'd have no means of communication.

2. I'm thankful for the dumb people that I encounter every so often who give me hope that maybe my stress and headaches are a byproduct of having a functioning brain in my head.

3.  I’m grateful for bacon and coffee.  I’m grateful for having coffee and bacon at the same time.

4. I am grateful for all the things in my closet with a “Must be 18 years of age or older to purchase” label.

I Don't Give a Shit

I'm 30, recently turned, hence my anger. I'm divorced and a single mom with a ridiculously messy house.  At this point, moving to a new house and starting all over (even with underwear and socks) would be easier.  I have historically dated emotionally retarded men and am fairly certain that is something I haven't quite learned my lesson on so more will come on that front I'm sure.  But regardless, I have just become quite unapologetic for my swearing, my lack of perfect parenting skills (my kids have it pretty good), and my inability to keep all my shit going perfectly all the time.  I forget to call people back, I am never on time, and lately I have not averaged more than about 5 hours of sleep at night.  I don't give a shit.