Dear Friday… Suck it.

 

Today began crappily and it just persisted.  Naturally, seeing other people fall down made me feel better.  Just warmed my heart right up.  I hope it does yours too…

No one was harmed in these video clips.  That’s a total lie.  Most of them are probably broken and will never recover but thinking about that makes it un-funny.

Skype Dating... When Easy Access is Hard to Manage (and I have to shower)

That's woman is not me.
I never look that cute, even
when I try.

My SO (Significant Other) lives in another state and in order for us to "see" each other on a regular basis, we use Skype.  Being apart is challenging and I miss him a lot but there are a few perks to out of state domestication.  One of those major benefits in having a long distance relationship and being a writer who works at home is my ability to not have to ever really get dressed up, wash my hair, apply make-up or leave the comfort of my sweat pants or shorts.  I don't wear bras around the house, and my toenails regularly go unpainted.  I appreciate that he won't see through our smart phones the fact that I'm wearing socks that don't match, or that my shorts have a hole up the side, or that my hair's frizz level has it's own zip code.

Dating Service… It’s Over…

As reported earlier this week, I’m in a relationship.  I hesitate using the word “boyfriend” because I’m 30, and NOT 12 and “manfriend” isn’t a socially accepted phrase (as I type, Microsoft has red squiggle underline for “manfriend” because it doesn’t recognize it as an actual word), and all other labels are awkward.  So, he’s just….uh… my guy.  Regardless, that isn’t the subject of my post today.  I have unfinished business to tend to.

Uh…..I Think I Have a Boyfriend?

 

Before anyone freaks out, there are a few things I need to clarify up front:

1. No, the nameless dating service did NOT find me this man.  They are still ignoring my last email.

2. No, I am not drunk now nor was I drunk when the boyfriending took place.

3. Yes, I may have had a couple glasses of wine when I initially hit on him.  I think the term I used was, “I want to be on you.” 

4. No, I won’t be telling you his real name in an effort to protect the innocent heretofore we’ll know him as “Lover Boy,” as that’s what my mother refers to him as to me.

5. No, I won’t be advertising the fact that he’s younger than me (I’m officially a Puma).

6. No, I won’t be bragging about the fact that he has the abs that I outlined in my dream man scenario either, is super hot and thinks I’m funny.  Those things just aren’t relevant for blogging purposes. 

I am sure there will be plenty of embarrassing stories (mine, not Lover Boy’s – he doesn’t exhibit the qualities one requires to have the same volume of embarrassing stories I do.)